A Challenge
A few years ago, in a conference session by Angela Jenkins, we went through all the different happy hormones and then she gave us a little challenge at the end…
What are you going to do to create more of your happy hormones?
Angela suggested we reach out with a gratitude or appreciation message to someone each day, for six weeks, the accepted duration needed to rewire our brains (at the time).
For me, one a day didn’t seem like it would be going out of my way. I wouldn’t be changing my behaviour enormously. Five would be a more significant number – five per day.
So that’s what I decided I’d commit to.
There were only a few days I regretted that decision during the six weeks.
Now, five a day is over 200 individual people across six weeks.
My only intention really was to reach out to them and truthfully communicate why I was appreciative of having them in my life.
Sometimes I’d close my eyes and picture the person. I’d think, what kind of things, feelings, and thoughts come up for that person.
They could be short messages to people I knew less well, or longer, more meaningful missives to those who were more special.
It was important that I authentically communicated what they were in my life.
That was the only intention.
An Unexpected Outcome
What surprised me and shouldn’t have, was of course, most people would reply.
Of that 200 odd people, only two people didn’t reply.
I felt slightly embarrassed at this wave of goodwill!
I was so completely focused on conveying my authentic feelings about them, that it didn’t occur to me they might be inspired to return the thought.
Looking back, perhaps that’s because I was only thinking about what I was expressing, not what they were receiving.
Every one of those messages was a reminder to another human being that they mattered, that they had positively impacted somebody else’s life, and that they were appreciated.
That’s a beautiful gift to receive unexpectedly in the middle of an ordinary day.
The next surprise was I started getting bookings in the diary for people who hadn’t seen me for a while.
Again, completely unintentional on my part, but it just started happening, and people started signing up for educational experiences that I was running.
Across that six weeks, I later realised that it brought a significant bump in income.
Just by reaching out to people and saying thanks for being in my life, I suddenly had tens of thousands of dollars inbound!
I remember having conflicted emotions around this, because I had pure intentions of only outward goodwill.
However, the catalyst for them to bring me into their thoughts was this wonderful thing.
This really easy, wonderful, act of appreciation.
That’s the irony of the situation.
The intention behind it is nothing to do with marketing.
And that’s why it’s so powerful.
In fact, perhaps that’s exactly the lesson.
Human connection may be one of the most effective forms of marketing precisely because it isn’t trying to market anything.
You’re not trying to get attention or persuade.
You’re simply reminding people that they matter.
Ironically, that might be one of the most memorable things a business owner can do. And here’s another thing that struck me…
I enjoyed those six weeks far more than many months I’ve spent creating marketing content.
Don’t get me wrong, I still think sharing ideas is important. That’s literally what I’m doing right now. But many business owners will know the feeling of staring at a screen wondering what to post next, trying to keep up with algorithms, consistency, engagement and all the rest of it.
This felt completely different.
Instead of trying to create attention from strangers, I was deepening relationships with people I genuinely cared about.
It felt more human.
More meaningful.
And, somewhat ironically, more effective.
The Science of Gratitude
Now, when you look at the concept of gratitude, there’s a whole heap of science around it, starting with its ability to open doors to both old relationships and new relationships.
It could be super simple like holding a door for someone you see every day, or saying thank you for helping on a project.
These are relationship starters, as well as obviously reinforcing and confirming existing ones.
And just as an aside, people who exhibit more gratitude have been shown to have fewer aches and pains.
Again, you give and you get back!
While I’m ‘asiding’, this next one will be no surprise to you…
Happiness scores go up in grateful people and depression scores go down.
Practising gratitude improves mental health and happiness, whilst giving you fewer aches and pains, and in my case, financially boosting your business!
Boom!
Continuing my aside to the point where it’s no longer an aside but a topic in its own right, gratitude has also been shown to increase empathy and decrease aggression.
From my point of view, it’s another example on the ‘feel’ end of the scale.
You give a gift. You get a gift.
But from the inside; both in terms of where it comes from and where it goes to.
It’s deep.
It tells a story about who you are but connects at the most human level.
The next layer we can add, is that the more connected you are with other people, the better you sleep.
Next, grateful people have also been shown to have higher levels of self-esteem.
The way you feel about yourself improves as a result of communicating your gratitude for others.
It’s a mental strength, mental health, mental resilience piece, of the most beautiful kind.
Gratitude as an Expression of Love
At its essence for me, gratitude is a way of expressing love in business.
It’s another way of spreading love in the world.
It’s kind of like a hug, difficult to give, without receiving it in return.
It’s exactly as I experienced in my story.
When you’re grateful towards someone, they instantly want to thank you or be appreciative of you in their lives, even though we don’t do it for that reason.
That’s what makes it so powerful.
It improves the wellbeing of the person expressing it.
It improves the wellbeing of the person receiving it.
It strengthens the relationship between the two.
And sometimes, unexpectedly, it creates opportunities that benefit everyone involved.
A Gratitude Initiative
So, I’ve had an idea:
- Gratitude initiative
- Six weeks
- Week one, 1 gratitude or appreciation message per day
- Week two, 2 gratitudes per day
- Week three, 3 per day
- Week four, 4 per day
- Week five, 5 per day
- Week six, 6 per day
If you do every day, that’s 147 lives you’ve made better.
Each of those people get a beautiful message.
And here’s the weird thing…
YOU will probably get more than a hundred replies.
Talk about return on investment!
However, you need to be pure of intention for this to work.
Your intention must be entirely focused on the outward expression of gratitude or appreciation for each human in your life.
The energy of your messages will be so authentic that they can’t fail to land in the way you intend.
Your expression of love in business – two seemingly incongruent factors combining powerfully for the benefit of all parties.
The more personal and unique each of your messages, the better.
But if you need to copy and paste here and there because the vibe is similar for a few different people, then there’s still a huge amount of authenticity in your communication.
What a beautiful ripple effect you will create.
Do you want to start this ripple right now?
Let’s just show that humanity is very much alive in business.
And then reach out to me with your stories of what is created as a result. Please! 🙂
Where next?
- Conversations – Hear longer discussions with world-leading thinkers.
- Learn – Put these ideas into practice.
- What I Do – Understand the philosophy behind my work.
- About – Learn more about my journey.